The End of the Beer Coaster?


The first sign of the apocalypse is upon us. Per Salon.com.

The Katz Groups is a paper/milling company located in Southwest Germany founded in 1716. For the past several years, the Katz Group has supplied a whopping 97% of the United States’ beer coasters. That’s one heck of market share.

However, last week the Katz Group announced that they were filing for bankruptcy, due to these hard economic times. Thus, leaving the American populace with nothing more than napkins (napkins I tell you!!) on which to set their beer.

What does this mean for FBC? Not much really, except a single throw away sentence that garnered most of my attention when I first heard this story on the radio:

“The record for beer-coaster throwing stands at 125.5 feet.”

As my fellow FBC’ers and our friends know, one of us has a unique and special skill of beer coaster tossing. Jeremy has the ability to whip a beer coaster across a table at pinpoint accuracy and with face-damaging force and speed. On one occasion, Jeremy was able to deliver a retaliatory blow to Ben’s face that resulted in our group’s only West End blood shed. Mind you, the distance involved here was approximately 10% of the record distance, but I am confident that Jeremy’s toss would have covered significant distance had Ben’s face not gotten in the way.

Upon hearing this news, I immediately contacted Jeremy and he offered an ingenious suggestion. Position, Ben’s head at the 126 feet mark. Provide Jeremy with a stack of coasters and let him have at it. We should have an EMT stand by however as Jeremy’s injury producing skills have been proven.

That is all.

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